Blog by John Miller

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To my critics

Listen up, kiddies. My last blog, pointing out interesting similarities between the Toronto 18 and the Sun News Network's Freedom Weekend in Muskoka, attracted a barrel of rat bastard criticism from people, some of whom seem to scrape their knuckles when they walk. Apologies were demanded. One of you said you're praying for my twisted, lost soul.

I'm touched. Such sentiment deserves a carefully considered reply.

Let me start by quoting my journalistic godfather, Hunter S. Thompson:

"To all the people who keep writing me those vicious goddam letters ... I get a really high boot out of reading them. I read them all, screening the best ones for good lines to steal. About a week ago, someone from Chicago called me a Cryptofaggot Bulldog Nazi Honkyfascist Pig.

"I can really get behind a letter like that. But most of the stuff is lame. I am not running a Dear Abby service here. Anybody with problems should write to....."

While I can say that I really enjoyed my former career as a journalist, the idiot who wrote to say I was "the most pathetic journalist I've ever met" (a) has never met me, and (b) doesn't know that the satiric writing I'm engaged in on my blog does not match the usual definitions of journalism. It's something I prefer to call Suicide Gonzo Ratfucking, and I didn't invent it. Sun News network did.  

It's not meant to be seen as literally accurate -- comparing Sun News types to terrorists, for example -- but rather it should be taken as only "virtually true". It's satiric and exaggerated, you see, just like most of the news Sun News reports on its network. Its power lies not in what it says, but in the reaction it draws -- insane, semi-literate and usually anonymous rants that ooze with goddam hypocrisy. I've found that I like pulling that chain too. I actually enjoy seeing people who profess to value freedom of expression blow a gasket when I express myself strongly on a point of view that strikes them as illogical or insane.

Not that there's anything wrong with insanity. Rex Murphy can be insane at times, like when he called Ezra Levant the foremost champion of free expression in our country. That's like saying Pol Pot actually did wonders for Cambodia's tourist industry.

Ezra, Charles, Wayne, Michael and those who stand behind lecterns on Sun TV are just exercising their brands, and nobody should be surprised that they'd be seen as heroes by a whole subculture of frightened illiterates with no faith in anything.

Do I support Sun TV's right to be on the air? Absolutely. Tuning in is vastly more entertaining than locking in on, say, The Comedy Network. It's a lot funnier and there are fewer commercials. Every once in a while you're treated to something seriously whacko, like Ezra with a chainsaw, and suddenly the fiendish rat bastard objectivity of the CBC becomes too tedious and you totally let yourself go, overcome by a sudden desire to tear somebody's head off. 

No wonder most of the abusive email that comes my way after one of my satiric anti-Sun TV rants is signed anonymously. The idiots who lap it up in prime time are so embarrassed by how they've spent their time that they don't want anyone to know who they are.

I am forced by the evidence to conclude that watching too much Sun TV turns people weird. They run completely amok, like priests addicted to sex, or narc-cops who decide to sample some of the contraband to see what the fuss is all about.

Me, I'm happy to wallow in my own Suicide Gonzo Ratfucking. It's so much more rewarding than simple journalism. Most journalists only talk about objectivity. The j-Doctor reaches out and grabs it by the fucking throat. It gives me what mainstream journalism can no longer deliver -- a rapt audience full of steam. The only trouble is, most of them are screaming pole-axed waterheads with a limited grasp of 
sanity and syntax. 

Well, you take what you can get In this crazy world, don't you.

Fact checking Ezra and Co:
Woo. Where do I start? Sun Media, that notorious downsizer, must have done away with all its fact checkers in the latest round because they broadcast a lot off stuff about me that isn't remotely true. I don't still teach at Ryerson, I've been retired for more than two years. My "carbon footprint" was not affected by my living in Port Hope because I no longer commute and, when I did, I always took the train. Ezra was dead wrong when he said he's known me for years and we met  at the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal hearing into Mark Steyn's writing. He also erroneously said I was paid by the Canadian Islamic Congress to travel to B.C. to testify against Maclean's. That's all wrong because I never went. The human rights commission refused my last-minute request to counter testimony from the Canadian Association of Journalists, an organization I belong to. And freedom of expression? I have defended it all my life.